No Bar at United Club: Woman Goes Feral

Date: August 5, 2024

Location: Washington Dulles International Airport (IAD), Virginia

This morning, travelers at Washington Dulles International Airport were taken aback by an unusual scene at the United Club lounge. Victoria, a frequent flyer from Newark, NJ, caused quite a commotion when she discovered that the lounge's bar was non-existent.

Witnesses reported that Victoria, who had been looking forward to a pre-flight binge, became visibly upset upon learning the news. According to fellow travelers, her frustration quickly escalated, leading her to exhibit what some described as "animalistic" behavior.

"She started growling and making loud noises," said Mark Johnson, a businessman who was present at the lounge. "It was like nothing I've ever seen before. She was clearly very perturbed."

Airport security was promptly called to the scene. The suspect was eventually calmed down and escorted out of the lounge by security personnel. No injuries were reported, and authorities have stated that she will not face any charges.

A spokesperson for United Airlines commented on the incident, stating, "We apologize for any inconvenience caused to our customers. The United Club lounge is currently undergoing renovations to improve our facilities, and we regret that the temporary closure of the bar causes distress to some. We are working to ensure a more pleasant experience for all our guests."

Victoria later released a statement through her lawyer, expressing her frustration and apologizing for her behavior. "I was tired and looking forward to relaxing before my flight. I regret my actions and any distress I caused to other passengers," the statement read.

Despite the unusual incident, airport operations continued as usual, and the lounge is expected to reopen its bar by the end of the month.